I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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