I could have mohawked her pubes.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize