I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
