I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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