Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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