White coat. Heels.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We're too hungover to prance.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
