He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize