great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize