whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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