He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I DEMAND FORESKIN
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
