you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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