I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
