Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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