Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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