I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We talked him into tasing himself.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
