Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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