i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
