I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I'm really busy with my period
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