Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize