We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
