Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
