My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
