I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
