Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
