I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize