I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Randomize
