I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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