This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just pee around me
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize