I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just had sex on a roof
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
