I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
