they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
