I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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