So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
operation harelip BJ is a go
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
