just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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