The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
