The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
