One girl and one boy is just not enough.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
