I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
