yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
