there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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