wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
