I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
