I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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