Your mouth is God's brothel.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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