this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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