even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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