You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I will pee on everything he values.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
