areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
