walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
