ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
