Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
