My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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