So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
