Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
