The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
