So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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