ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
