I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
