why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
