Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
