is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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